Communication is fascinating, especially when the one communicating has no problem making a fuss in order to get their needs met, hence all the babies in the world. So what is it about our conditioning as adults that changes things? Why does it become difficult to greet an unfamiliar face with a smile or to share eye contact with a stranger on the train ride home from work? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that as we grow older we stop learning these basic fundamentals. We rely on technology and others to teach them to younger children and we manage to make ourselves believe that in “adulthood” the learning stops. Well in the spirit of punk rock group NoFX, You’re Wrong!
So here are the 4 parts of communication:
1. formal observations = facts, leave out the judgments
2. feelings = flares that alert us. *many people misuse the word to describe beliefs, thoughts, and images
3. needs = met and unmet
4. requests = trying to get your needs met in the present moment
Best to start by getting in touch with your needs. 9 universal human needs: affection, creation, freedom, identity, participation, protection, recreation, subsistence, and understanding.
Root from the human need to communicate by lifting away from habitual patterns that don’t work. Get your needs met by observing your feelings and requesting what your needs are.